In the Strength of the Lord

I have children who make me laugh. Children who bring me joy. Children who always seem to have a desire to choose the right no matter how difficult the test. I am thankful for them and for the happiness they bring to my life.

A few of my children, however, have caused me much pain and sadness as I have seen the paths their lives have taken. Most of it is out of their control due to mental illness or other issues that were related to early years of abuse or neglect in their birth countries. When I have spoken with other parents who have equally difficult children, I see the pain in their eyes and I can so relate to what they are feeling. Oh, how I can relate…with one difference. Some of them don’t have hope for a brighter tomorrow, and hence are filled with despair.

I too have known despair as I have wondered if one child will ever be able to live on his own. I have watched another stray from the gospel and shed many tears over the choices she has made that have distanced her from her Father in Heaven. Another is dealing with the pain of sexual abuse that stole the innocence of her childhood. At times I have fallen to my knees in despair and plead to my Father in Heaven that I wasn’t sure if I could handle much more. Each time that I have prayed, however, the comfort has come. Comfort in knowing that this Earth life is not all there is. Comfort in his sustaining love.

I know there will come a day when my children will be healed of their disabilities and infirmities that were no fault of their own. I can look in my sons’ eyes when he is angry and raging due to his mental illness and see an absolutely beautiful, yet currently wounded spirit deep inside yearning to get out. I know in the next life when he is healed of his illness that he will be free of the chains that bind his mental clarity here and now. I know he has a valiant spirit inside, for I have seen it. I have seen the gentleness and meekness he exhibits when he shows his tender feelings towards babies and animals. I have seen the tears he sheds when he watches “The Testaments” and Christ heals the blind man at the end, giving him sight.

Someday Christ will also heal our blindness and we will have the ability to see the whole plan. We will understand better why we had to endure some of the trials that we have during this earth life. Although some of those trials have driven me to my knees, I am thankful for them, because on my knees was where I needed to be. Through trials I have gained a greater relationship with my Father in Heaven. He knows me–and each of us–by name. He loves us, and through his strength, we can not only endure, but be thankful for the refiner’s fire.

Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” I believe that with all my heart. He and his atonement are bigger than sin, bigger than pain, bigger than mental illness. And because of that, I can have hope, and I can have faith in a brighter tomorrow.